Jesse

From the day that we met, He's always been someone who truly fights for the one's he loves. He's the least selfish man I know. I guess maybe that's what made me fall for him he is 8 years older then me but were just so good together that you wouldn't know it. When I look back I guess the thing that hurts most about all this is. Were comin up on our 9th wedding anniversary it's seriously like less then a month away. And in July was our 10th year together, I admit that we fell kinda quick and everything happened so fast. But it has NEVER felt wrong. Not one minute of it. And I would say that part of our marriage was gettin to know each other. And some say that were quite different. I'll admit that we kinda are, his family life is way different from mine, Lol in his family marriages last. My family, not so much lmao some of the cousins are lucky if they can pin point who the daddy is. They have huge family events were I swear there are close to a 100 people often, our family events growin up were my mom, me, my sis && booney. I'm way loud sarcastic and outspoken, he's somewhat timid but funny and more reserved but we've managed to make it work. I think that he tones me down and I brighten him up. (Just the way I see it.) But, now I barely know this man he's cold, and hard. This situation has left us both at way opposite sides of the tracks now. I know that many would agree I NEED TO GET OVER IT. He didn't cheat I know THAT!!! But it was his actions that hurt me. I am now some psycho that can't trust him, always thinks that he's hiding something I'm mush an insecure pile of mush. And he stands tall. Solid, firm and unbreakable maybe a little inconsiderate. Which isn't such a bad thing except for now I don't think even his mush of a wife can reach him and that hurts. I see him now and he has slowly taken that best friend that isn't gonna intrude position. You know the one that knows you belong to someone else but has always been there for you but wont say what you need to hear cause havin you in there life even if just as a friend is enough for them?? Yea that one. And I stay the mush that gets the it will be alright, he didn't mean to, nothing bad happened. I don't know this guy. He has been all I've ever known my everything, my reason for breathing, living and I feel expendable if I don't get my shit together. He doesn't wanna live like this neither do I but were not the same anymore.