My mom && Michael

&& Christine && Bre took picture recently. It was a really big step && I mean BIG step for my ma who hates taking pictures. She has the biggest complex about it. But they came out nice and I'm glad because, if it hadn't she'd never I mean never be willin to do that again, and now this next month were gonna get family shots done ya! Here's a few.

The 29th

So tomorrow, my brother will go stay with my sister. I made it after all. Lol... Just barely. I've lost count as to how many times I wanted to choke him, Has he changed?
I'd say no..... not completely. He has yet to pick up a bottle. And I'm trying so hard to keep faith. His anger is not controlled the way that it maybe should be. But he is still doin good and I still giving him the benefit of the doubt. So only time will tell!

Saturday....

So Friday ended on a better note, I was still as stressed out as ever........ My mom bought the kids a slip && slide so since it was still warm outside we put it up && sat out with them. My brother got here around 6/6:30. And well..... no surprise I agreed to let him stay here. Just the 2 weeks. I also caved in && talked to Jesse. We hadn't talked. I know that he is skeptical about Michael's "CHANGE" but so am I. It just hurts me, that he acts like that. Do I tell him? NO! I don't because...... I'm always so easily talked out of what I feel. I just feel that I would never not let him take his sister in.... Or help her. I feel stuck I shouldn't have to choose between the one's that I love. The sad part about all this.... is that I feel that in my heart. One day he will leave me because of all this. Which I know it'll be my fault cause I allow it. I've talked to Michael about it before and I told him he will someday cost my family..... my family!

Yesterday, Today && Tomorrow

Yesterday my brother tried callin my phone but I was already at work. Then he text. A few days ago, he hurt his knee falling in a hole. He might need surgery. And now, the home that he was stayin in is kicking him out. Why? Because of his knee. They work there and through out the community as there way of paying rent. And since the doc ordered him off of it for 3 weeks. They kicked him out. I'm sure that he didn't do everything possible to stay. He asked if he could come stay with us for 2 weeks until my sister can let him go to her place. I told him no, I don't mean to be like that.... but I'll admit I am still very skeptical bout his "changing." He has "changed" before. And on top of that the lady that lives in front of us has been acting like a bitch. And the last time he stayed with us they charged && claimed that he's been there the month && added another $300 dollars to the rent. Which I fought because he didn't stay with us the month and no one from management ever came to verify there sources. So I told him I don't have money, the neighbor has been acting like a bitch. He kept blowing my damn phone up begging. On top of all that my sisters husband doesn't want him there at there place either. I tell him [my brother] Alicia already said that they don't want you there. He says he's talked to her, and that if he can stay my at my place a couple weeks then he can go stay with her, So i text al. She says not until the 30th. Which might I add is 3 weeks from now. I tell him that he begs. So the rest of the night I ignore him.......
During all that ........... I text Jesse and tell him. He says "I dooooooooon't know". So I haven't talked to him since. Why? Because I know he don't want my brother here. Neither do I. But he's getting kicked out!!
&& yes there's more..........On top of all that. I was planning a small B-day party for June his birthday is sat, but I was planning it for Sunday Mother's Day. The day he was born it was the 9th but it was Mother's Day. So like I said I have this planned, I'm freaken stressed. I'm not talkin to Jesse. And Al tells us she's goin camping that weekend. So my original plans are out the door. I just always get F*cked over buy them...........
I do say && go everywhere for them................

So my weekend is shit, && I feel like crying.

And I'm annoyed because havin my brother here which I have NOT agreed too. Is just, gonna suck he hasn't changed!! Maybe quit drinkin but not change!! Then he says "I'll help with the kids..... he can't even help his own kid!!!"


Today: Still haven't talked to Jesse, I'm just so hurt, depressed && right now stressed. && Christine is on her way..... to get Michael.

&& Tomorrow.......... who know's?!?!?? I'll fill you in!

Love thy neighbor............ Part 2

So, On Friday last week the kids were out playin, for Easter they got this big'ol thing if sidewalk chalk. They were enjoying it, and was just all over the place, under my supervision. I notice that Betty peeked around the corner then ran inside. I got this funny feeling. And told Jesse I bet she went inside and called "Sanna" the apt manager who was on site holding open houses. I notice that Sanna walks out && looks in our direction. I knew that's what is was, but I wasn't worried. It comes off with water for goodness sakes. My ma who had been talkin to our neighbor Helen, comes over && tells me && Jesse. You know that Helen had came out to tell us that Betty had called her sayin that she had called Sanna && told her that we were all sitting there well we watch my kids "Graffiti" and deface the property. I was mad. That witch looks for any little thing, to be messin with us && the kid's.
It was time for me to head off for work && the kids were goin with Jesse to get din. So knowing what I knew I got the hose, and in front of Betty in a very non-discreet tone said I'm gonna wash "the Graffiti" before the neighbors act stupid, Meaning her!!
As I was washing it down, Sanna comes over. And says...... "oh it's fine, it comes off... it's fine" I told Sanna "I know it comes right off, they weren't doing anything wrong!"
Betty witnessed all this.
So 2days later, again the kids are outside chalkin it up.....Lol. When it was time to take the kids in. I hosed it down, all except one line because I didn't wanna shoot the water that way && hit her car. She's such a Drama Queen, that she woulda for sure called the office on us then would been tryin to claim some kinda water damage.... and BULL. Yeah so the next morning my ma heard Betty out there bitchin, bout what who know's but I was pretty sure it was us. && sure enough it was, Helen told us that she was out there takin pictures of the sidewalk .... "the Graffiti". Then she poked her head in our fence && was complaining bout that which is our own personal space. I called Sanna you need to let her know she needs to leave us alone! You said the sidewalk chalk was fine, && her lookin in our porch!?! She has a problem talkin to us but no problem tryin to to my kids she aint gonna like it when I go to her door.

Well see..........

Love thy neighbor............ Part 1

A little over a year ago, my family and I moved into a apt. It works for us, for now. When we first moved in the tenant "Betty" who resides in the apt in front of us. Well it was evident that she didn't like us. At first we thought RACE had somethin to do with it. Seeing as we are Hispanic and most our neighbors are black. Which might I add we get along with just fine. On her first day here as the off-site apt manager was showin us around. She [Betty] came out we said Hi, but she looked at the manager and said "I hope that were gonna still have quiet around here", I know, Bitch right? Anyways, there were other small incidents, but now I'm gonna start sharing them as they happen. She terrorizes this apt complex. Like I said at first we thought it was just us.
Anyway the smaller incidents were smaller but mainly revolved around the fact that she would wait til one of us meaning me or my mom would step inside for a min. Then she would peep out and tell my kids to stay off the grass. Small stupid shit like that.
I explained to the manager that she needs to come to me, I'm an adult. She's an adult and needs to leave my 7 & 5yr old alone. Now let me give you a little insight. My mom got into some trouble a few years back, and beat 4 R.P.D up. Lol....it's true. With that said she [my mom] tries to stay outta trouble. And me, I'm not a fighter. But I don't back down either. So she's really lucky she hasn't gotten a beat down. But yeah she ain't worth losing my kids, you know.
So starting with the most recent incident.
My kids are NEVER alone. And I take deep pride that in all my years as a mother I make it work so that my kids don't have to be watched. By my mother && sister yeah! But a stranger no! NEVER!! You can't trust anyone these days.
So when we get a day off me and my mom. We go outside and watch the kids play. I don't let them run loose one of us is always there. So about a month ago, we went outside to sit, while the kids played. The next day we happened to be off again, and as we were gettin ready to go outside "Betty" put a sprinkler up. And guess where? Yup same corner of grass where we were sitten the day before. She did it just to be a bitch. "Betty" must not have seen me, but I caught her tryin to tell Marlene somethin. I poked my head from around the corner stood up and yelled "WHAT?!??!" She replied "oh," somethin bout the water being on. I told her "Oh they know we already told them to stay the fuck away from your sprinkler you just did it to be a bitch!".
So, that same day, a little time passed she saw that I had gone inside just to get the phone, she must of not have noticed but the apt manager pulled up and my mom and walked over to talk to her. I walk out and she higher ed the water so now it was wetting all the sidewalk where the kids were playing. I was so upset, but here comes my ma with the apt manager. Betty seen and lowered her water. Then pulled her sprinkler, in && turned it off. Yes OFF. She didn't even water anywhere else........


So I'm gonna take a break, get stuff down around the house. But, there's more......... Keep ya posted!

Wrong Number

What the heck.... so I text a friend of mine.... and it turns out I have the wrong number. I apologize, then I get a text back from this guy talkin about well he did'nt respond sooner cause... he was at work!

So, What I shoulda probably done was... leave it at that.. right? But... me being me I decided to text back and say once again I apologize .. I hope that I didn't cause any trouble for you at work! So this guy texts me back and is like.... So Desi... I had given him my name when he text back the first time... asking who was this. That's how I realized that it was a wrong number. He says it's ok send me a pic if your hot... I should'ntve but did... I text back and jokingly told him, you might know my husband.

Now... I don't wana hear how I'm a married person and should know better because I do... and I would've never sent a pic...

So awhile passed and I recieved another text from him saying he was sorry he was in school... he say's soooooo can I get a pic.... and then he say's you must have a bf or you married huh?!?

I told him,.... yeah I told you I was married.... Then the funniest thing happened, He text me back and say's Ummm no offense but your married!

What a loser... I told him that from the begining... I text him back to be polite!

Anyway's I found this situation rather funny..... But I remained completely honest with him durin the whole ten min's that I knew him! Lol.

Today....5-4

R.I.P
Raymond Jess Vasquez
We Love You!
Today, Tomorrow && Always

Is the 5th anniversary of my Uncle Ray's death. Who we all Love && Miss. His passing was sudden, heartbreaking and unexpected. He knew he was Loved just wish we could tell him one more time.
One day I'll share more of that with you but for now. Here's a pic,

My neice Sil.....

So last week, the kid's had there pictures taken. And they looked oh so pretty. But later that night, I get a text from Al. That her husband [my b-i-l] had left his clippers down and Sil almost 3. Gave herself a haircut! That her on the right side.

My scare

So as I shared with you on friday. Marlene came home from school sick. Really sick. The first paranoia thing that jumped into my head was "swine flu." All she did was lay. Throw up and sweat. So I was contemplating takin her to urgent care. But since her symptoms hadn't worsened. We waited and that whole night was horrible seeing my baby girl sick, and everything was touch and go.

But she made it through the night, and in the morning she woke up hungry. The fever was gone. I thank God!

Letter to the Ex....

I had already posted this but.... on my blog you couldn't see the text. So here it is again!

The life you chose!
Your a bitter bitch......
&& the victim right?
Huh??? Whatever makes yourself feel better.
Stop being so Fucken selfish.
For Christs sake!
I didn't choose this.
You did.
You made your bed.
Lay in it!
In this sweet fulfilled marriage,
&& life in which I live.
Is what my decisions brought me.

Happy.
Lol.... I should Thank You!
The sad part is you had it.
All.
&& you can say it don't want it,
but you do.
I see through you.
You, Miserable Bitch.
Keep pointing that damn finger.
&& it might get cut the fuck off!
You should stand in front of the mirror
when you say that shit.
You delusional dumb ass!
You paint a pretty picture of what happened.....
It shoulda went down that way.
But the others involved are
"human"
&& wouldn't do that to the one's they love.
Doesn't that just break your heart?
That.........Your
THE ONE TO BLAME......
&& YOUR THE ONE HURTING
THE ONES YOU LOVE.
&& even though it may not be LOVE.
On some part,
What is it? Spite? Jealousy?
Pure Anger?
Keep it up
YOUR GONNA DIE THE
COLD LONELY HEARTLESS BITCH
that you ARE.
lOl.........Your a Fucken Joke!
That's right we be laughin at the joke!
You made outta yourself!!
You keep talkin shit.....
You don't need this.....
You don't need that.......
They don't need you..........
They don't need you lies.....
That's bullshit!
That your servin for breakfast && one day
they'll take there last bite.
&& you'll be feedin yourself that shit!!
Then..... they'll join us in our LAUGHTER
&& Til that bittersweet day.
Tell yourself what you want.
Were done listening.
&& one day you'll realize that you
did YOURSELF dirty.
&& only you!

My Daughter

Lol..... Marlene can be crazy but........she is so smart. And say's things that just throw me back. Like for instance the other night we were working on homework and she was writing her sentences with spelling words. I don't even remember what the word or sentence was but, we were using the word "money" in the sentence. She say's Nana? How do you spell honey?!?
Overhearing, I tell her money not honey. And her reply was???? "I'm improvising, I'm gonna take the h and make it an m then I'll have money && not honey!" Yeah I know right....and she's only 7!


Anywho the reason I was posting this is because in our "swine flu" scare she [marlene] has made up a poem.

It goes:

If your feeling sick,

Like you got the flu.

I know,

What you need to do!

Don't go to work,

Don't go to school.

Till Mr. Obama

Tells you to!

In the life of RETAIL

There are some customers with a sense of humor!

Sometimes...........[one of THOSE day's]

I feel like ramming my head into a wall. [please do not take me seriously....I don't need help]
Anyways I'm not always a wreck but there are days where I feel like "WHAT ELSE!?" I feel like I'm ALWAYS there for EVERYONE but if I turned around to see who would do all the things I do I see NO ONE. And I know it's my fault........Like this morning. So I had Bre [the baby] && June [the son.] And it hit me as I'm waiting there for Bre to fall asleep so I can shower. I never shower when I want to. And lol..... as my tummy growled I never eat when I want to. I cant sleep, I cant think. Then I noticed a missed call on my cell. Rose's school. Then I get a text. From the hub "Marlene's sick you need to get her." At this moment, I haven't yet showered I cant leave my 4yr old to watch a 6mo. old. Hence that is why I wait for her nap to get in. I put her down, still trying to fight it but..... almost out I jump in. I text my sister who is at work and ask if she's had her lunch! She responds "On my lunch, hey rose's school called" And my showers are sometimes my only "me"time. Sad I know! But I'm scrubbing my hair, brushin my teeth && washin up all at once. A knock "Bre's up"..... "there I go!" So I get out tryin to try another knock "SHE'S CRYING!!!!!" Lol the kid's get so paranoid when she cries. I'm out! Then a text, from the hub "nevermind" not to go get Rose. She went to the rest room then said she felt better so they let her out to lunch By now, I'm irritated out of my mind! My sister knows that Rose is sick at school, does she ask if I need her to get her?!?!? NO!! Another text the hub "don't forget to pay the light bill".

Again:
I cant eat, sleep, think shower or anythin for that matter when I wanna! They really shouldn't even ask my "to jump" anymore they should just say how "high".
It's not that I feel like the owe me anything, but this morning is a perfect example, I got up @ 5am to watch my nephew Daniel for an hour, hour and a half while my sis went to work and her hub came home from work. I did it no problem. But she can really take her hour lunch from work knowing that because of her shift I was up at 5, I'm home with two kid's no ride, my daughters sick and nothing!
Another text "she threw up, you need to get her".



I NEED A BREAK!!