#4 started

Today, I came home you wrote a "flo" I been up since fo', so I don't really wanna know. Honestly, I didn't know that people, could just let go writing raps about being an ASSHOLE. Seriously, you should let this "rap thing" go. Being a slob, get a job. You got a 3yr old that needs a dad, not some unemployed, to avoid the responsibilities of being a man.

Haha facebook stat, right here

So, I come home to find my brother "visiting" and yea I got annoyed and felt the immediate need to clown lol.

I should take up rapping, if it's just snapping and letting go in a flo. Talking bout your hoe, or shit I can't control. Lol. I'm just playing yo! Sitten here laughing, cause I "put" this down while you were napping. But, for now I'll keep my day job, and put it in a blog.

#3 started, not complete

Ah, here we go again you got punked, you got jumped while walkin home drunk. In the dark, what?!?! you think your Tony Stark?
You ain't no iron man, it takes a better man, to be a dad. It should make you sad make you mad, that it makes me glad.
Your daughter is gonna be just like me, same mentality.

(Note: not complete, I plan on adding to this... there's a bunch of directions to take this one.)

my crack @ rap take #2

I'm back at it again, with my thoughts and my pen. Gotchya thinkin I just like to talk shit, naw. I just want you to get hit. With reality.
Mad at your mom, cause you didn't have a dad, One would think that would make you reach for a better plan. But instead you use it to take advantage, cause you think you can. One day you'll be a better man, when no ones there to lend a helpin hand.
Hearing us cry and seein our pain, should drive you insane almost kill you and will you. But it just thrills you, callin my phone sayin "it was a mistake", how many those you think you get to make? Sayin "life is hard" your a tard.
You eat, shit, and sleep for free, ridin on every ones generosity. Spendin every dime you can on a drink cause your weak.
History will NOT repeat, say you'll never follow in your fathers feet.


(Note: Seein as how this is just for sport, a release of sorts, I am not a professional so they'll end weird lol)

Rap demo take #1 lol

So, like I said in my last blog other than the fact that I miss it. Is that not much has changed. my life has been as chaotic as always. And, I adapt. Anyways... to the point. My brother, to this day still remains unemployed, un-supportive of his now 3yr old daughter. And, is now... an inspiring rapper. The sad part is that he gets "encouraged" that he has a chance. I obviously don't think so. But what do I know, Right. Anyways if he does stand a chance, then that's great. But, to sit and wait for it to "happen". Isn't gonna work, pursue your music. But get a job, take a shower, spend time with your daughter, SOMETHING. So, in my frustration, and blog less. I did something. To prove a point. I work, I have two beautiful children that I tend to EVERYDAY, in EVERY way. And, so this was born.


I got a text that made me sad, made me mad. It was that of a proud dad. Sendin a clip of his son, tryin to bust a rap on a 30 second clip of his pre-paid phone.



I burst into laughter that aint no rapper, that's a loser and a user.


Tellin me I'm just snitchen, no boy I'm just bitchen. Cause I can, cause your no man. Hitten bricks and shit, threatenin to kill your chick. Get a life she aint your wife. And if I were her, I'd think twice.


When I think of you, I wanna throw-up, your ass needs to grow-up. Always cryin like a girl, cause you can't control that I see you for what you are, and your not up to par.


Mad cause, your so lame tryin to run your game.


Maybe I should do the same, quit my job, be a slob. Pretend I have no kids, bust out windows & shit.


Then just like you I could place the blame, on everyone cause to you it's all the same.






lol, my crack @ rap to my bro:) yea, I'm a lil frustrated. Amateur I know, never claimed to be a pro:)



.

Update

So, if you do not know I am as of today a whole 100+lbs lighter than I was at my last blog. I miss my blog I have soooooo much that I need to share. Big surprise there right? My life has always been one heck of a roller coaster ride. If it's not one thing then it's the other. As it goes, up to date other then the weight loss which might I add has been one heck of a emotional depressing and still on going challenge. My brother is still a loser, one who has inspired me to "flow" about him, haha he's such a wanna be. My mom was let go of her position at the K, and things with Al are about  the same here kids are crazy, she's a partying mess. Who might I add was recently in a car accident with my two children, luckily no one was hurt, but I believe she was driving "irresponsibly" although, no one will clarify my suspicions, the kids were terrified, still are. Jesse, well were still married, and nowa days I find it a little difficult to talk to him, like my new quote goes, were in the same boat just different rivers haha, seriously though .... I'ma mess. One big depressed mess, I need you... no one really relates. Not, that you do but at least through you, I get more than a word in edge wise. Let's see I HATE my job, could look for another but seriously lack the motivation and energy to do so. My education do to my personal choices are limited and I strongly believe that I would be trading one shitty job, for another. So with that being said, lol yea. I really do hate it though. Breanna, starts pre-school in August so that will lighten up some of my hours during the day, unless of course it's laundry day. I swear I've been buried under laundry forever now. THANK GOD, I tied them tubes. Uggh, I could just go on and on and on about all kinds of stuff. Really need the net, cause off of what I squeezed into this blog so far, has the potential to be broken down into a billion other blogs. I need the release.

Dear Santa

I often, (original title) mention what kinda mother I strive to be and what kinda relationship I hope to obtain with my children as they get older. And that truly has become my main goal in life. If I can raise these two to be happy and successful before my time with them then every minute every tear and every extra hour away from them would all be worth it. So, the reason why this is heavy on my mind is because Marlene wrote Santa a letter and I always tell her to write him and ask him for three of her main "wants" and list her #1 first so that he knows if he cant give her all 3 then he takes care of the main depending on where she made it on the "nice list". And since santa = mom & dad & grandma & there auntie lol we cover alot of ground and make it happen. And when she closes it she ends it with to make sure other girls and boys have a merry christmas too. All this I knew, and every year I read there letters and get the main and give the big man credit lol. So this year she added a little extra that I thought was extra cute, for her brother she asked that Santa get him a sonic sweater to keep him warm, and her grandma a snuggie cause she's always cold. I'm currently hunting for a sonic sweater, but by luck found some sonic fleece pj's. So those are gonna be marked by Santa I'm sure Marlene will make the connection she's super smart. And of course grandma will be gettin a snuggie from Santa as well. I'm ubbber excited!! Yay!!