Findin myself hurt.......

So my brother who left for rehab, a little over a mo. ago. Has not written me a letter. I normally would not be bothered by this but am. I know that durin his stints and even afterwards that he would place blame and used the way that my mom raised him or the way I treated him as his excuse for his addiction. My mom raised the three of us alone and the best she could I think that are there somethings that she coulda done differently but no one is perfect! And I try my best as a mother but I'm sure that one day my own daughter might find somethin that I coulda done better.
And I admit that durin my brother's struggle with his addiction I was hard on him. I guess that maybe because that he blamed our mother for his problem and I know that she isn't to blame. But it killed me to see my brother the way that he was. I cried and struggled with nightmares for him. And prayed, prayed my heart out that he'd get better. I remember one day, durin one of many interventions, I poured my heart out tellin him how I couldn't sleep cause that I would be haunted by my dreams of him being beaten to bloody pulp and dyin.

After that he of course met with a bottle once again and I guess my way of dealin with that would be to be tuff... and not care.

And it hurted I expected more of him. From him I knew that he was capable of sooooooooo much more!

And now since he's been gone I've helped his girl and mon-fri, 9 to 5. I have his daughter....

He has written everyone and apologizing to them.... I have yet to recieve letter and as they pour in for everyone else. I'm losing hope that one will come adressed to me. And I wonder why?.....Does he not owe me anything? as much as a simple, "I'm sorry"? I guess not! But why? Does he really think that I am partially to blame....????